Hi Al, Thank you so much!!! You have no idea, and words can't explain the support you have unknowingly provided me over the last week and a half. I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years, and to no surprise he has walked out. I say to no surprise as the last 3 years have been a constant battle. I have learnt so much and am trying hard to put all of this into perspective and am focusing on one thing at a time. Every article I have been through, I have lots to learn. (Master/slave, setting boundaries, timeouts etc...) We have been doing everything but what is suggested. I feel hope that there is a way... I love him and have no doubt in my mind that he loves me. I know we can make it, if we only BOTH focus on the right things. My problem is that my lizzard is a little scared :) He has asked me to write him a wish list of what I want in this relationship. I know if I tell him, he will run even further. All is well in our relationship so long as he can do what he pleases/when he pleases, and I have no reaction or do not disagree. If I even try to understand the reasons why what he is doing makes sense, then all breaks loose. How/What first steps can I take? I've read alot of these, but am afraid if I try any of this now I will say the wrong thing and he will be gone for good, if he isn't already. There is so much more to tell than what I have just written, if you need more to provide feedback, then please advise.