Hi Al,
I stumbled upon you site after googling resentment! After years of an emotional roller coaster marriage...things are finally making sense!
About a week ago, my husband realized he was resenting me...and has been for about 11 1/2 years. WOW. It hurt to hear, and I was angry and didn't know what to do, and how to even begin to cope!
It was a HUGE step for him to admit to any emotion, so that had me holding on. I showed him your website, and it was as if he lit up! Light bulbs were turning on left and right. And for me too! Because I always thought he was the one with the problem :) Ooopppss!!
Turns out, he is an avoider...I am a clinger. And we have always felt ashamed about this. I felt weak for feeling this way, and he felt a little unstable. Ever thought about that?...The shame part?
Any who, thank you for helping us! I feel like I can cope with life now! I have never felt that way (34 years old), and I was starting to feel like that was just life. He is grasping everything much faster than I am. But - I will get it! We took a time out for a week, and now he is back home. And I am giving him his space because I understand that it has nothing to do with me, he just needs that...and he is understanding how I feel about the clinging...ahhh to be understood!
We are going to therapy on Friday, we are really nervous. By the way, I made the appointment (ha ha). I feel like we already have the tools & the willingness to work on this together, and I feel like we really do not need it. But I suppose every person feels like that, it is kind-of like when you are debating on whether you need to go to the emergency room....if you have to wonder, you probably need to go!!
Wish you were in
