It’s time again to play “WHAT ARE THEY READING?” Instead of writing a book, I decided to make my “notes” available, via Internet, to anybody. And instead of marketing, I have used word-of-mouth or touch-of-keyboard to spread awareness. I have posted 190 articles here in the five years since March 2005.
During last month (May 2010), each day an average of 332 different visitors read 1626 articles, and downloaded 166 megabytes worth of my articles and pictures. That’s a monthly total of 10,300 visitors downloading over 50,407 articles. I salute you.
The top read articles seem to be becoming a fairly steady set. The very “top of the top” is that article on What to do when he/she leaves. I imagine 802 hurting people came here last month, while their partners, 802 also hurting people, were elsewhere.
While I've been sharing and watching what people do with my writings I have come to certain simple conclusions.
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He/she leaves you cuz the relationship you have with them sucks. And it has probably been sucky for some time. If it takes someone leaving to get your attention, so be it. Get to work and learn quickly. Fix it.
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Do not rush your partner. Do not let your partner rush you. Develop a pace in talking and doing that is easy for both of you. Make sure you have easy skills of being together and being apart.
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If you don't learn how a) to PreValidate and Validate, b) remove MasterTalk, and c) learn the verbal sharing skills taught quickly by Mirroring then you are screwed.
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Use skills that build safety and get rid of all habits that threaten.
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Express feelings often and always safely.
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Take turns being appropriately selfish.
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Learn to like your beliefs and make plenty of room for others to disagree.
There is a series of interviews, 8 1-hour visits with me all downloadable in MP3. Sprinkled throughout are other MP3 downloadable audio files that you can buy, drop onto your IPod or a CD and listen in your car. Also you can find me on Facebook, and I do consult with people by phone.
You can donate to my site, if you wish. For you computer types, think of it as shareware or “Pay It Forward.” This includes a link to a book being written by a friend based on his journey through my website. He’s even offering draft copies. Enjoy.
There are several helpful online communities that seem to be places to share your thoughts and struggles about relationships. I congratulate them all. Also, I encourage those of you who are really grasping what I write, to consider sharing what you have learned and to work with others.
The following is the ranking of my top 25 articles. Thanks to all of you for reading, learning something, for sharing it with others, and for referring people here. I hope what I have shared is helpful to you. If it has been, you might let me know. If you want me to focus new writing on some area, please let me know. I have a list. Also I may use your priorities to re-write or expand some of my more popular articles. Drop me an email at al@turtlecounseling.com.
