Yesterday I gave a chat to a group (about 32) of Imago Therapists on Frustrations. Here is that audiofile of that chat. It is about 1 hour long.    more »

Use this process when you want to apologize for something you have done. Its a way to say "I'm sorry" that works.   more »

"You are not entitled!" Get it. (On the receiving end, "You are not obliged!) Learn how to deal with Frustrations and "letting go" of things we are Not Entitled To.    more »

Print this form and use a copy in learning and practicing the healing process called Restructuring Frustrations.

Restructuring Frustration Form

This article is the result of 10 years of practice by my wife and I. It is a step by step structured process that will eventually both remove all critical frustrations from a relationship but will also build confidence and skills in dealing with new frustrations when they arise.    more »

I really like being efficient. Doing something over and over that doesn?t work seems an utter waste to me. Thus Behavior Change Requests (BCRs) are for me wonderful. How many times have I asked myself, ?Specifically, what can I do to make things better?? and gotten no answer. I used to think on my gravestone they would write, ?He tried.? Now, I think they might write, ?He did it.? I love finding out WHAT WORKS! (This article is part of the Healing Frustrations paper.)   more »

I believe that Frustrations are the critical element to making progress in a Relationship. Healing Frustrations is the key. I call it the ?ratchet? process because , like a ratchet wrench, it makes things move forward and you can?t back up. The following essay contains what I see as the background for dealing with frustrations. It clears up a lot of misunderstandings and can help you stop wasting time and energy in doing things that do not work.    more »

This is a chart that goes with the Healing Frustrations essay. I share this with anyone in a group or in my office who is trying to understand how to approach Frustrations.    more »

This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.   more »

This story is about hopeless habit of pointing fingers at the action or the one who "angers you." I call it "Where to focus when you are upset."   more »